Veggietales Star Wars:The Bob Solo Movie
by Ek01
Summary: The story of one man’s (...er, one tomato’s) epic, intergalactic journey.
1. The Escape

Starships flew across the horizon, firing all manner of lasers at a much smaller ship. This ship in particular, was none other than the Millenium Falcon, being piloted by none other than Bob Solo—a handsome, young tomato man of 23, and Chewlotsa, a handsome young gourd Wookiee man of about...er, 300, give it take.

"FASTER, CHEWIEEEEEEE!!" Bob exclaimed. "WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!!"

Chewie quickly obliged. He punched the light speed button and off he went. The Millennium Falcon easily evaded the Empire ships, and managed to land on Corellia—Bob's home planet.

"Man.." Bob said upon the dismount. "Who KNEW it's be so EASY to get that guy to Jabba?"

Chewie nodded.

"BOB!" Exclaimed a tall leek woman. "You're back!"

The leek ran over to greet Bob and Chewie.

"Hey, Sana." Bob said, hugging the leek and giving her a kiss. "How's it goin?"

"Pretty well." Sana replied. "You get any news about that huge bounty yet so we can leave this place and settle down somewhere?"

"Not yet..." Bob smiled and wrapped a (non-existent) arm around her. "But just you wait—pretty soon, it'll only be about us...me and you..."

("GLAWWWRFGHAGH..")* Chewie exclaimed.

"Oh. And Chewie." Bob smiled, wrapping another non-existent arm around the Wookiee. "Can't forget him!"

Suddenly, Bob's holo-wristwatch started to blink repeatedly. He looked down to find that it was none other than a call from Jabba the Hutt himself!

"S'cuse me, Sana." Bob said, moving away from Chewie and her. "I gotta take this call!"

Bob walked away into the building that he and Sana called home, behind a curtain of imported beads strung together with Wampa-fur yarn.

"So..." Sana said, once Bob was gone. "You wanna get some pizza, big guy?"

Chewie nodded and happily roared.


	2. The Hunt for Bob begins

General Lemonlime was perhaps one of the greatest generals to ever exist and lead the Empire, and of course, he was one of few who answered to Verdura, only.

He had killed many, many men, but he unfortunately failed to capture...

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB SOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lemonlime yelled one day.

"What's the matter, General?" Asked a kiwi.

"I can never catch that Bob Solo guy!" Lemonlime exclaimed. "It's like he's always one step ahead of me!"

"Well, he does have that rug lookin' fella with him!" Another kiwi said.

"Who cares about that guy!?" Lemonlime said. "SOLO here is the bigger prize!"

"Sir!" A third kiwi said. "I've just received word that he's goin' after some bounty by that big fat guy, what's his face!"

"A bounty, you say..." Lemonlime said.

The lemon pressed a button on his desk, which opened up a large table with wine and breadsticks. The kiwi was confused why he would put up such things, but he still went along with it.

"Now tell me, where is he gonna strike next?"

——————

"Sana, honey..." Bob said later that same day as they all sat around the dining room table, enjoying their pizza. "Me and Chewie are gonna have to leave tomorrow. The news about the bounty just came in!"

"Oh, that's just fine." Sana said. "What's it for?"

"It's kinda...uh..." Bob tried to come up with the right description. "Classified. Yeah, to me and Chewie."

"Cool, cool..." Sana said. "Well, whatever it is, good luck..."


	3. A really kickin’ mancave

Soon, Bob had arrived at Jabba the Hutt's castle...palace...thing. He was ready to receive his mission with Chewie, no matter how dangerous it might be. He rang the doorbell, and an extremely tiny jackfruit walked out.

"Uhhh...name, pleeeease?" He asked in a very prepubescent voice.

"Solo." Bob said. "And Lotsa." He looked at Chewie.

"Oh..." the little guy said. "Right this wayyy.."

—————

The interior of Jabba the Hutt's palace was exceptionally massive, filled to the brim with hot tubs, hot alien babes, and a large dance floor.

"Miiiister The Hutt will see you in a mooooment..." the jackfruit said.

"I don't need to fall at your feet

Just 'cause you cut me to the bone

And I won't miss the way that you kiss me"

"Sheesh, what a geek." Bob told Chewie, who immediately laughed at his statement.

"I heeeeard that!" The jackfruit replied.

"We were never carved in stone

If I don't listen to the talk of the town

Then maybe I can fool myself"

Pretty soon, a large door opened up in the palace, leading to a much larger room.

"Miiiister Solo, party of twoooo, Miiister the Hutt will see you now!" The jackfruit teenager exclaimed.

"Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking (I'll get over you I know I will)

I'll pretend my ship's not sinking

And I'll tell myself I'm over you"

The jackfruit teenager led Bob and Chewie over to where Jabba was currently seated at. It was a (practically) ocean-sized hot tub of water, with him taking up half the space in there, along with at least thirty bikini babes of different species.

"Miiister JAbba!" The jackfruit happily yelled. "They're here!"

Jabba the Hutt then looked down at Bob and Chewie (but not without someone pulling back his neck fat so that he could see properly).

("*Ah, Robert, Chewbert, you've made it!"*) The Hutt said in his deep voice.

(*TRANSLATED FROM HUTTESE*)

"What's the mission, mister Jabba?" Bob asked, going into the tub—even though it looked extremely disgusting—and sitting on one of the Hutt's fat rolls with Chewie.

Jabba pulled Bob and Chewie closer, making sure that none of his hot girls or other people could hear him say this.

("My boy...") Jabba said. ("There is a kyber crystal located on a distant jungle planet. I need you to find it and return it to me so that I might display it in my totally kickin' man cave.

Bob looked to find another room, with neon lights reading "MAN CAVE". The floor had leopard print rugs, posters of very attractive women, a large water bed (extremely durable for someone like Jabba). Intense rock music played from a nearby boom box, and two lava lamps lined the front of the bed, next to a pool table and NES games.

"Wow." Bob said. "That IS a kickin' man cave. Don't worry, mister Jabba! Me and Chewie are totally gonna bring back that crystal!"

Once Bob and Chewie left, Jabba looked back and placed a fat, non-existent hand to his forehead.

("You better bring it.") he said.


	4. The crystal

(Tribal drum music instrumental)

Monkeys chattered.

A nearby kookaburra gave a loud whoop.

Bob and Chewie had landed on the jungle planet, and went to a vast sinkhole. Bob was tied to a rope, which in turn was wrapped around a large tree trunk, and slowly began to spelunk deeper and deeper into the sinkhole.

"Once I find the crystal," Bob said. "I'm gonna pull on this rope!"

Chewie growled a response and gave a salute with a non-existent hand.

"Lates, Chewie!" Bob said as Chewie lowered the rope into the cavern.

Bob was within one of the many tunnels that made up this sinkhole. He walked over a chasm, through the ten-foot tall spinal cord of some dead creature, that acted as a perfect bridge. As he got closer, there started to glow a bright orange light.

There, perfectly perched on a rock, was the Kyber crystal.

Bob moved closer, trying to grasp the crystal as delicately as possible without breaking it (who knows how hard this thing was).

"Almost...got it..." Bob said as he reached out for the gleaming, orange-colored crystal.

Bob inched closer a little more, then grasped the crystal within his non-existent hands. But, just as he grabbed the jewel, it popped out and rolled away from his hands.

"Oh...COME ON!" Bob exclaimed.

Bob leapt into the air and dove after the crystal, which continued to fall deep down into the cave. The crystal clinked off of various cavern walls, and everywhere it went, Bob was always a close second to reaching it. Pretty soon, he chased it so much, that he was actually on the other side of the jungle!

"GOT IT!" Bob exclaimed.

Chewie had followed Bob all that way through the jungle and roared a congratulations.

"FREEZE..." came a voice all of a sudden.

Bob and Chewie turned to find a laser gun pointed directly at them. It was from a ship with even more laser guns, and of course, General Lemonlime was staring at them down the barrel.


	5. Jungle boogie

"If it isn't Robert Solo..." Lemonlime said. "...and Chewbert, his flea-covered friend.."

"He does NOT have fleas!!" Bob retorted.

Chewie agreed, then quickly started scratching at his head.

"Anywho, I've been wantin' to do this for a very long time..." Lemonlime said. "Ever since...the INCIDENT..."

———————-

Five years ago...

"Gotta...get that solo guy..." Lemonlime grumbled.

As Lemonlime walked over to his ship, and started it up with a *CHIRP-CHIRP!* from his car keys, every stormtrooper could be seen laughing at him.

"What...what's everyone laughing at?" Lemonlime asked.

Lemonlime looked up to find the exterior of his ship was painted with bright red paint, reading "EAT DIRT, VERDURA!"

"I...didn't write that.." Lemonlime said.

At that moment, Verdura showed up and slapped Lemonlime clear across his face.

"SO-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lemonlime yelled.

———————-

"Pffft!" Bob exclaimed. "Like that ever happened. It was a pretty funny flashback, though."

"GIVE ME THR CRYSTAL, OR DIEEEEEE!!" Lemonlime shouted.

Bob laughed a good twenty seconds, and snorted.

"You and WHAT ARMY?!" Bob asked loudly.

Suddenly, from within the jungle, came thousands upon thousands of soldiers. Some were on speeder bikes, some were piloting ships, some were ground soldiers, but all of them were evil.

"Oh...crap." Bob said.

"As it grooves your body moves

Your body starts to get the feelin', and what you're feelin' is happiness"

"FIRE AT WIIIIIIIILLL!!" Lemonlime shouted.

A barrage of lasers started to power up from the main star destroyer. Bob knew exactly what to do—he grabbed Chewie and the two of them hid behind a thick-trunked tree.

"Let your body go as you listen, let it flow through your system

It'll take control of your mind and make you move your behind

As it grooves you feel the tension in the air and now you're hype"

Once the laser was down, Bob took out two guys and grabbed their laser guns. He took one for himself, and tossed another to Chewie.

"BRACE YOURSELF!!" Bob yelled to his friend.

Chewie nodded, and started firing lasers alongside Bob.

"You're gettin' down because the sound is just your type

G.M. and D.O.S.E's kickin' it to you right

So come on, come on and party hardy all night, and"

A long rock lay in the middle of the jungle, supporter by a smaller one. Chewie jumped up on one side, Bob jumped on the other side, which propelled Bob high into the air.

"ATTACK FROM ABOVE!" Bob yelled, and began to rapidly fire lasers at the soldiers and stormtroopers.

"Wiggle it just a little bit, I want to see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves

Wiggle it just a little bit, I want to see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves"

One of the lasers that Bob fired managed to literally blast the pants off a stormtrooper. The others stared at his Rebel Alliance symbol-patterned underwear and gasped.

"Uh..." the stormtrooper said. "I CAN EXPLAIN!"

"Once the DJ lets it spin, it'll penetrate your skin

It'll penetrate your soul and make you lose control

The D.O.S.E's comin' atcha, invadin' you like a body snatcher"

Chewie fired a few rounds at the soldiers, then, when he was close enough, he grabbed their non-existent arms and RIPPED THEM OFF!

"AAAAAAAGH!!" A Stormtrooper said. "Oh, wait." He then realized that he had no arms in the first place.

"Whether if you're drunk or sober this here groove is takin' over your body

And now you're partyin' like you've never partied before

You're jumpin' up and down like crazy on the dance floor"

Bob hid within a small pond from Lemonlime. He held his breath, until the army went away, then snuck up from behind them and took out one of the stormtroopers, using the helmet as a disguise.

"LET'S GET HIM, FELLAS!" Lemonlime exclaimed, then looked at Bob wearing the helmet. "Wait...who are YOU?"

"Uh..." Bob said, trying to sound like a stormtrooper. "I'm new, here..."

The stormtrooper helmet slid off of Bob's head. Bob chucked at the fact that they could now see him.

"SOLOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lemonlime exclaimed.

"You're gettin' busy like a bee and that's the truth, I got a feelin' there's a fire

Wiggle it just a little bit, I want to see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves"

"...Someone call me?" Bob asked, appearing right next to General Lemonlime.

"AGH!" GET OUTTA HERE!" Lemolime exclaimed.

"Wiggle it just a little bit, I want to see you wiggle it just a little bit, as it grooves

I bet you're moving your body from side to side

I bet the groove that you're hearin' is keeping you satisfied"

"GIVE ME THE CRYSTAL!!" Lemonlime exclaimed.

"NEVER!" Bob shouted.

"Maybe THIS will make ya think otherwise..."

Lemonlime pressed a button on his ship, which unleashed a mechanical arm. The arm began to tickle Bob rather hard.

"AHHAHAHA!!" Bob laughed. "NO NO NO! STOP IT! GAHAHA!"

"Dancin' by yourself is bad for your health

So grab a cutie by the hand and tell her that you want to dance

As it grooves you feel the tension in the air and now you're hyped"

Pretty soon, the crystal became loose from Bob.

"HEY!" Bob exclaimed.

Lemonlime now had the crystal within his mechanical grasp. The robot arm placed the crystal within a small compartment, and he laughed as the ship started to fly away.

"You're gettin' down because the sound is just your type

G.M. and D.O.S.E's kickin' it to you right, so come on, come on, party"

"Aw, crap!" Bob exclaimed, kicking a rock. "He got it..."

Chewie placed an arm around Bob. Suddenly, Bob stood up.

"WAIT, I GOT IT!" He exclaimed. "GET IN THE FALCON, CHEWIE! WE'RE FOLLOWIN' HIM!"

Bob and Chewie quickly started up the Falcon, and placed some black sunglasses on.

(*"Bob, seriously. You sure we can make it? It's like, gonna take a bazillion parsecs to keep up with them, we got half a tank of gas, no regrets, and it's almost dark, and we got sunglasses."*) Chewie said.

"Punch it." Bob replied. "We're on a mission from Jabba."


	6. The infiltration!

The base of General Lemonlime was heavily guarded. Laser guns were positioned, motion sensors were in effect, and two guys patrolled the overhead. Bob and Chewie arrived, safely behind a large bush.

"You know what to do, Chewie..." Bob said.

"(*Oh, brother!*)" Chewie growled.

———————

While the rest of Lemonlime's soldiers were singing a military cadence, two stormtroopers were chillin' at the water cooler during their lunch break and making small talk.

"...and now it's like I don't even NEED kaegles!" One of the stormtroopers said.

"I'm just gonna erase that from my memory banks." The second stormtrooper said.

Suddenly, everyone in Lemonlime's base turned around to face a tall figure walking in with heels and a slinky red dress (which looked extremely tight against its wide figure).

"I'm bringin' sexy back (yeah)

Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)

I think it's special, what's behind your back (yeah)

So turn around and I'll pick up the slack (yeah)"

It was none other than Chewie, dressed in a very attractive woman's outfit. He struck a very sexy pose, and made a ton of people faint.

"I'm bringin' sexy back (yeah)

Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)

I think it's special, what's behind your back (yeah)

So turn around and I'll pick up the slack (yeah)"

"Hey baby, how's it goin'?" A stormtrooper asked.

"Yeah, gimmie some sugar!" Another exclaimed.

Chewie winked in Bob's direction, letting him know it was okay to infiltrate. He continued to distract the guys, while Bob climbed into the vent.


	7. Double-Crossin’!

Bob opened the door to where General Lemonlime would have been in, except, he was not the one sitting in a large chair.

"Sending codes to General Lemonlime..." a familiar voice said.

It was none other than Sana, organizing various things on a hologram and sending them out to other people. Bob gasped loudly, for he could not believe his eyes at what he was seeing—it was merely impossible.

"SANA?!" Bob exclaimed. "YOU'RE BEHIND ALL THIS?!"

"I always have been, Bob." She smirked. "While you were off on your dumb little missions, I was Lemonlime's employee of the month, carrying out all his executive orders! This was all but a ruse, pretending to be the girl of some stupid SMUGGLER!!"

"But...why?" Bob asked.

"I'm not in love with you." She said. "I never have been. My true boyfriend is Lemonlime!"

"BLEH! GROSS!!" Bob exclaimed at the very thought of Lemonlime being with Sana. "EEW! GIRL, YOU NAAASTY!"

"Too bad, Solo..." General Lemonlime said from afar. "Now, you must die a slow and painful death..."


	8. the showdown

"Wait..." Bob said. "What's that sound?"

"Yeah." Sana said.

'Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about

What's the deal with this pop life and when is it gonna fade out'

Gears started to whir about. Bob and Chewie stood heroically, ready to fight Lemonlime, but Sana stood up as well.

"Ah, Bob..." Lemonlime said. "So nice of you and your friends decided to drop in..."

'The thing you got to realize, what we doing is not a trend

We got the gift of melody, we gonna bring it 'til the end'

Lemonlime strode out, within a giant, mechanical robot with a long, extending arm. He laughed manically, and approached Bob.

"GET AWAY FROM THE GIRL, YOU—"

"HEY!" Bob exclaimed, dodging the movements of the robotic arm. "..this is a KID'S SHOW!!"

Lemonlime picked up Sana and tossed her to the side, completely knocking her out.

'It doesn't matter,

'Bout the car I drive or what I wear around my neck

All that matters,

Is that you recognize that its just about respect'

Lemonlime's giant mech lunged at Bob, but Bob immediately got out of the way, pressing a button on his comlink to Chewie.

"CHEWIE!" He exclaimed. "I NEED HELP!!"

Chewie growled back a response, then...ripped his dress off.

"AAAAAAAGH!!" A stormtrooper exclaimed.

"OH DEAR LUCAS—WHERE'S THE BLEACH?! I NEEED BLEACH FOR MY EYEBALLS!" Another stormtrooper exclaimed.

'It doesn't matter,

About the clothes I wear and where I go and why

All that matters,

Is that you get hyped 'cause we'll do it to you every time

(Come on now)'

Chewie initially thought of going into the same door as Bob—but that would be too predictable! Then, Chewie had an idea—he climbed up the stairs which led to the balcony of where Bob was.

"(*GLLLLLLBRAAAAAAWRGH!*)" Chewie exclaimed.

"CHEWIE!" Bob hollered.

The gourd Wookiee leapt from the balcony, landing right on Lemonlime's robot and weighing it down somewhat.

'Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you high?

It takes you on a ride, feel it when your body starts to rock

(your body starts to rock)

Baby you can't stop

(You can't stop),

And the music's all you got, come on now'

"GET OFF ME YOU BIG—" Lemonlime grumbled.

The robot arm picked up Chewie and flung him at the wall. But, the Wookiee immediately got back up and noticed a bow caster gun on the wall.

He picked it up, it felt right. It felt like that gun was practically made for him!

Chewie dashed into the battle, firing his gun and de-powering the robot arm.

"New gun, Chewie?" Bob asked. "I like it!"

'This must be, pop

Dirty pop, that you can't stop

I know you like this dirty pop

This must be, pop

Now, why you want to try to classify the type of thing we do

'Cause were just fine doin what we like, can we say the same for you

Tired of feelin all around me animosity

Just worry about trust cause I'ma get mine, people can't you see

It doesn't matter,

'Bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck

All that matters,

Is that you recognize that its just about respect (oh)

It doesn't matter,

About the clothes I wear or where I go and why

This must be, pop

Oh

Man I'm tired of singing

Dirty, dirty, dirty pop

Dirty pop

Do you ever wonder (echo)

Nsync'

Then, Bob noticed that there was a small wire sticking out from one of the ends of where the robot arm used to be. He grabbed it and began to pull it down.

"THE HELL YOU DOIN'?!" Lemonlime exclaimed.

"I'm good with this stuff, man," Bob said. "...you remember?"

'(Oh) do you ever wonder why

(every wonder why)

This music gets you high?

(Music gets you high)

It takes you on a ride, feel it when your body starts to rock

(When your body starts to rock)

Baby you can't stop

(Baby don't stop),

And the music's all you got, come on now

This must be

Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you high?'

"I'm nothing but a smuggler." Bob replied with a huge smirk on his face.

The robot crashed through the walls of the room and exploded, leaving a faint scent of lightly burnt lemon in the air. Chewie hugged Bob and the two of them laughed and cheered.

"Come on, bud." Bob said. "Let's get outta here."

————————

After the battle, Sana finally came out of her trance and pulled up her holo-phone. The image of who she was speaking to was tall, and hooded.

"Sorry, boss. The tomato got away and they took the jewel with them.." Sana said.

"Well, isn't that just...peachy..." A female-sounding voice said.

The figure ripped off the cloak to reveal none other than...

DARTH EMAULY.

"...do you happen to know how you have MONUMENTALLY SCREWED UP THIS WHOLE THING?!!" EMaulY exclaimed. "IF YOU EVER STEP OUT OF LINE LIKE THIS AND FALL IN LIVE WITH THE ENEMY—"

"Didn't you fall in love with—" Sana started.

"S-SHUT—JUST SHUT-SHUT UP!" EMaulY exclaimed, trying to stop Sana from making a valid point. "What I meant was—"

A droid suddenly beeped and rolled over to the Zabrak asparagus, whispering something in her ear. Sana tried to listen, but couldn't hear.

"Oh, great..." said EMaulY, gazing down at a small pink stick that the droid gave her.

"What?" Sana asked.

"Well, this droid right here has gathered some of my DNA for my yearly health screening, and it found my husband and I will have a, few, uh, permanent visitors..." EMaulY spoke. "...in other words, I'm pregnant."

"Oh...congratulations!" Sana exclaimed.

"No, no.." EMaulY said. "For my species, motherhood is horrible...I have to gain a ton of weight cause my species has up to twenty children in four months. It's A LIVIN' HELL!! I have to birth all these kids at once and my cravings are ABSOLUTE GARBAGE!!!"

"Oh...okay..." Sana said. "Well, I'll see you later!"

"Goodbye...I have to tell my Jedi husband the news." EMaulY said. "And, if I ever see you out of line—even though I'll have a gut the size of a exercise ball...I can still KICK YOUR BUTT!"

The hologram turned off. Sana gave a loud sigh.

"Sheesh." She said to herself. "Her hormones are off the Richter scale..."


	9. Here We Go Again

Bob flew the Millenium Falcon from the base, kyber crystal in hand, watching it blow up to smithereens. Though Sana had double-crossed Bob and Chewie, they still kept their spirits high.

"Well, what do you wanna do now?" Bob asked Chewie.

Chewie gave some sad growls, for he missed Sana and the way she would pet his fur.

"Yeah, me too buddy." Bob said. "Me too."

Suddenly, the messages on Bob's holophone started blinking. Bob looked at the message, and his eyes widened. He looked over at Chewie with a wide smile upon his face.

"Let's go, Chewie.." Bob said. "I heard there's another smugglin' from Jabba. This time, it's on some planet called "Tatooine" or somethin' like that."

Bob and Chewie clambered into the Millenium Falcon, and off they went. Little did they know that the adventure they were about to undertake was even more epic than the last!

End.

———

Songs:

King of Wishful Thinking

(Go West)

Wiggle it (just a little bit)

(2 in A Room)

Sexyback

(Justin Timberlake)

Pop

(NSYNC)

———


End file.
